There was a time I could check every box.
The business? Running.
The content? Consistent.
The visibility? On point.
The life? Technically working.
But me?
I was gone.
Not depressed, not dysfunctional—just absent. I was playing the part of someone who had it all together, someone who was doing the work, someone who could hold space for others.
But behind the scenes?
I was scrolling more than I was feeling.
Performing more than I was present.
Regulating my nervous system just enough to keep up, not to come home.
I didn’t realize I was living on autopilot—until the pause finally found me.
It Wasn’t a Burnout. It Wasn’t a Breakdown.
It was something far more confronting.
It was stillness.
And in that stillness, everything that I’d been keeping just beneath the surface started to rise.
The moments I said yes when my body said no.
The launches I ran from pressure, not purpose.
The ways I contorted my energy to match algorithms, clients, and expectations.
And when I finally asked myself the question—
“Is any of this actually mine?”
—I couldn’t answer.
Not with integrity.
The Autopilot Mask Is the Hardest One to Take Off
Because it looks like alignment.
You’re doing all the “right” things.
You’re staying in your lane.
You’re evolving.
You’re creating impact.
You’re leading.
And yet your body is quietly screaming for you to stop.
Not to collapse.
Not to disappear.
But to return.
To feel again. To listen again.
To come back to the most honest part of you—the one underneath the performance.
In 2024, I Slowed Down—For Real
I didn’t burn my life down.
I didn’t delete everything and disappear.
I just stopped abandoning myself.
That year was the slowest I’ve ever moved in my business.
It was also the first time I felt God inside my breath.
Not in a Sunday sermon way. In a this-is-what-my-life-is-for way.
I stopped asking:
- How do I grow faster?
- What will they think?
- What should I sell next?
And I started asking:
- Is this coming from truth, or survival?
- Is this who I want to become?
- Can my body breathe inside this choice?
What Is Intentional Living (When You’re Done Performing It)?
It’s not a strategy.
It’s not a rebrand.
It’s not “alignment lite.”
It’s holy.
It’s haunted.
It’s slow.
It’s the radical decision to stop abandoning yourself in favor of what looks good from the outside.
Its presence over productivity.
It’s integrity over optimization.
It’s a return to what’s real, before you can even language it.
It’s what cracked open the foundation for Remeria.
Not a project. Not a plan.
But a space to hold the sacred silence most of us have been taught to fill.
What Changed When I Stopped Living on Autopilot?
Everything.
But not in the sexy, social-media-win way.
It wasn’t more cash, more clarity, or more confidence.
It was deeper than that.
1. I Became Intimate With What Actually Matters
Not what I thought I should want.
Not what my industry praises.
Not what gets applause.
But what makes me feel human, safe, and true.
I made a new list, five feelings I now build everything from:
Peace. Clarity. Freedom. Fulfillment. Truth.
No offer, no relationship, no project enters my field unless it supports those.
And when I honor that list, I never have to betray myself again.
2. My Nervous System Stopped Playing Pretend
The most dangerous thing I ever did was convince my body to perform safety.
I had the tools. The breathwork. The mindset shifts.
But I was using them to cope with my misalignment, not correct it.
When I slowed down and stopped using nervous system tools just to push through misalignment, I finally saw how much I was still living in micro-survival—numbing, coping, and calling it peace.
Now, nervous system work is not what I do to “calm down.”
It’s what I do to lead fully embodied.
👉 Here’s why your nervous system—not your mindset—is what governs your manifestation.
3. I Let My Work Become Sacred Again
I stopped creating from obligation.
Stopped showing up because it was “time.”
Stopped forcing relevance.
Instead, I listened.
And from that quiet… Remeria arrived.
Not as a brand.
But as a living vision. A memory. A soul agreement.
I didn’t build it for the algorithm.
I built it because something in me finally had space to be born.
4. I Said No Without Explanation
No to the calls I didn’t want to take.
No to offers that would’ve made money but cost me my soul.
No to being liked in exchange for being diluted.
And because of that, I said yes to time, to truth, to remembering who the hell I am.
I don’t teach boundaries anymore.
I embody them.
5. I Let the In-Between Be Enough
I no longer need the big breakthrough to prove I’m on track.
The in-between has become my altar.
The making tea slowly.
The sunset walks in silence.
The whispers I hear when I’m not listening for anything.
This is where God lives now—in the spaces I no longer rush through.
What This Has to Do with Leadership
This is where the next version of leadership lives.
Not in branding.
Not in marketing strategy.
Not in hyper-productivity.
But in identity.
In regulation.
In sovereignty.
In remembering.
The new leadership isn’t loud.
It’s not viral.
It’s not waiting for permission.
It’s rooted.
It’s visionary.
It’s quietly unshakeable.
And it begins with this question:
What if the life you’re trying to manifest isn’t landing—because you’re still performing for the version of you who built your last one?
Want to Live—and Lead—from the Inside Out?
The Identity Shift Sessions is a 7-part audio series for women who are done living by old patterns—and ready to lead from embodied truth.
It’s not about becoming someone new.
It’s about coming back to who you were before the autopilot took over.
