Have you ever felt like things were going too well—so well that you started waiting for the other shoe to drop? Maybe you self-sabotaged by procrastinating, picking a fight, or making a careless mistake, leaving you stuck in a pattern that feels like you’ve hit a ceiling. This is what Gay Hendricks, in his transformational book The Big Leap, calls “upper limits.”
The idea is simple: we hit self-imposed limits on how much success, love, or joy we allow ourselves to experience. But here’s the thing: upper limits aren’t real barriers. They’re stories we tell ourselves—convincing excuses that keep us stuck. And while they feel very real in the moment, they’re not insurmountable.
I first read The Big Leap in 2017, and it changed my perspective. But revisiting it recently, after breaking through many of my own perceived barriers, I’ve come to a new understanding: these so-called limits are not walls; they’re invitations to grow. The ceiling we think we’ve hit is just a reflection of our comfort zone, not our true potential.
What Are Upper Limits, Really?
Upper limits are the subconscious ways we hold ourselves back when life starts to feel “too good.” Hendricks describes them as a product of fear, doubt, and old programming—beliefs we’ve internalized about what we deserve or how much we’re allowed to achieve.
Some examples:
- You land a dream opportunity but delay submitting your best work.
- Your relationship is thriving, so you start nitpicking over trivial things.
- You finally feel financially stable but impulsively overspend.
These behaviors aren’t random—they’re driven by deep-seated fears like:
- Fear of being too successful: “If I outgrow others, I’ll lose them.”
- Fear of unworthiness: “I don’t deserve this happiness.”
- Fear of failure: “If I aim higher, I’ll fall harder.”
Why Your Excuses Feel So Convincing
1. Your Brain Loves Familiarity
The brain is wired to seek safety, and safety often feels like staying in the known—even if the known isn’t serving you. When you venture into new levels of success, your brain registers it as a threat, triggering resistance disguised as logical excuses.
2. Confirmation Bias at Play
We look for evidence to support what we already believe. If you think, “I’m not capable of more,” your brain will amplify every misstep or challenge as proof that you’re right.
3. Old Programming and Conditioning
Cultural, familial, or societal narratives often teach us that success comes with consequences. Maybe you were told, “Don’t fly too high, or you’ll get burned,” or, “Money changes people.” These messages can linger in your subconscious, shaping how much you allow yourself to expand.
Breaking Through the Illusion
The good news? Upper limits are not permanent barriers—they’re simply opportunities to rewrite the scripts holding you back. Here’s how to identify and dismantle them:
1. Recognize the Signs of Upper Limits
Pay attention to moments when you feel stuck, self-sabotage, or hold back. Ask yourself:
- Am I resisting a new opportunity because it feels overwhelming?
- Am I creating unnecessary drama in areas of my life that were going smoothly?
- Do I feel guilt or anxiety when I succeed?
Self-awareness is the first step. Hendricks refers to this as “shining the light of awareness” on your behaviors to disarm their power.
2. Challenge the Excuses
When an excuse arises, don’t take it at face value. Question its validity:
- Is this fear or fact?
- What’s the worst-case scenario I’m imagining, and is it realistic?
- If this excuse weren’t true, what could I achieve?
3. Reframe the Fear
Fear is often a sign that you’re growing. Instead of seeing it as a reason to stop, see it as a signal to lean in. When I hit my own upper limits, I remind myself: “This discomfort is a sign I’m expanding, not failing.”
One strategy Hendricks suggests is shifting your focus to what’s working. Gratitude and acknowledgment of your progress can help you push past the fear.
4. Envision Your Next Level
Visualizing success isn’t just a woo-woo practice—it’s backed by neuroscience. When you imagine achieving your next goal, your brain starts creating pathways to make it feel achievable. Picture yourself thriving in your “next level,” and let that vision pull you forward.
5. Surround Yourself with Growth-Oriented People
Your environment matters. Being around people who encourage expansion rather than reinforce limits can help you step into your potential. Seek mentors, peers, or communities that challenge you to think bigger.
A Personal Story: Breaking My Own Ceiling
When I first started my entrepreneurial journey, I believed there was a cap on how much I could earn while staying aligned with my values. I told myself things like, “You can’t make a lot of money doing meaningful work,” or, “Success will require sacrifices you’re not willing to make.” These thoughts weren’t based on reality—they were rooted in fear.
Over time, I noticed the ways I unconsciously sabotaged myself: underpricing my services, overworking without scaling, and hesitating to take bold risks. Revisiting The Big Leap reminded me that these behaviors weren’t reflective of my true abilities—they were upper limits in disguise.
By challenging those excuses and aligning with opportunities that felt expansive, I not only grew my business but did so in a way that felt authentic. The ceiling I thought existed? It was never real.
The Myth of the Cap: Why Growth Has No Limit
Hendricks introduces the concept of the “Zone of Genius”—the sweet spot where your unique talents and passions align. Most people stay stuck in their Zone of Competence or Zone of Excellence, believing that’s as far as they can go. But here’s the truth: there’s always another level.
Growth is infinite, but only if you allow it to be. The “cap” we feel isn’t an end point—it’s a reflection of the stories we’ve internalized. Breaking through requires curiosity, courage, and a willingness to embrace the unknown.
Recommended Next Steps
- Read The Big Leap
If this topic resonates, Hendricks’ book is a must-read. It offers practical tools for recognizing and overcoming upper limits. - Identify Your Current Ceiling
What’s one area where you feel stuck or limited? Journal about the fears or beliefs keeping you there. - Take an Aligned Action Today
What’s one small step you can take that aligns with your next level? Maybe it’s raising your rates, saying yes to a new opportunity, or simply reframing a limiting belief.
Breaking Free from the Illusion
Upper limits feel real because we’ve spent years believing they are. But they’re not barriers—they’re mirrors, reflecting the stories we’ve inherited about what’s possible. The next time you feel resistance, ask yourself: Is this a limit or an invitation to expand?
Growth doesn’t have to be a struggle, and success doesn’t have to come with a ceiling. The only cap on your potential is the one you believe in. So, are you ready to break through? The next level of your life is waiting.
